In My Dreams
by Star24
Summary: Logan's thoughts after AJBAC through DT ***COMPLETED***
1. I Can't Stop Thinking of You

I can't believe she's really gone

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't profit from them, just like to play with them.

A/N: Logan's POV after the events of AJBAC. Based on his final words on the Space Needle, his feeling that she is still out there. 

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I can't believe she's really gone. I keep expecting to turn around and see her standing there, that teasing smile on her face as she leans against the table in my computer room.I keep starting to page her to ask her to come over for some dinner or some chess or just to be with her. Pictures of her go through my head constantly, every place I go reminds me of her. 

The desk in my office where she leaned and told me about Cindy and Diamond's kiss while she flaunted her newly manicured nails in my face. I couldn't concentrate on what I was trying to tell her, all I could think of was how much I wanted to kiss her at that moment.

The couch in my living room where she sat the night she brought back Zack. Her looking out the window and worrying about how to warn her brothers and sisters that Manticore had their location. I remember the look she gave me when I came up with the way to warn them using Eyes Only. I felt like a hero that night.

The oven where we stood together and looked at my culinary disaster, the uncooked chicken, on the night I think of as our fist attempted date. That night was a disaster from the time she walked in the door to the time Zack called and she left.

The dining room table where we sat in candlelight as the healing blood flowed from her veins into mine. I remember her dropping into sleep and my thinking that I never felt so close to someone else, so much a part of them as I did that night.

My weight room where she hopped up to lean against me back to back and where I told her she meant "way more" to me than just a cat burglar. She smiled and told me she could live on that for a few days. I started to believe she might really care about me that day. 

My bathroom and her stalking out of it wrapped only in a towel, mad as hell at me and giving me an earful for blowing off her dinner for my Eyes Only mission. I never told her but all I really thought about right then and there was how incredibly hot she looked wrapped in that tiny little towel with her hair dripping wet. 

The hallway where she threw herself at me and flung her arms around me the day I almost blew my head off. She made me realize how incredibly selfish I was being and she gave me reason to keep on living for her, if not for myself.

The skylight, her point of entry that first night when she came to steal a statue and instead stole my heart. And, her port of entry the night after our "anniversary" when she came and gave me her heart.

So it goes. Every room, every square foot, every square inch of this place holds a memory of Max. There, that spot on the floor, is where we sat after the exoskeleton failed; where I first kissed her and where she kissed me back.

I can't do this! I miss her too much. We had so little time. We wasted too much time on our fears. Why didn't I tell her sooner how I felt. I left it too late and now I can't. I never said the words. Me the man of letters, the journalist; I never told the woman I loved that I loved her. 

Would it have changed anything? Probably not. She still would have gone to save her sister, still would have gone to destroy Manticore. She didn't think we could have a life while Manticore was there, a threat always looming over us. She told me as much on the Needle that last night. But at least we might have had some time together. At least she could have known that I loved her, that I will always love her. 

If I could do one thing differently that's what I would do. I would give her the words. I would tell her that I love her, that she is my life. That everything I do from now on will be for her. I will keep on living, keep on with Eyes Only, keep on fighting what's left of Manticore, for her. Lydecker said it wasn't my fight but he was wrong. It is my fight and I am determined to win it. I will not rest until I know that every remnant of Manticore is in ashes. Max may be gone but she has changed me, made me a better man. She was the love of my life and I will never forget her. But there is one strange thing…

At night when I sleep I dream of her. The dreams are not what you would expect. They're not dreams of her, of us, together and happy. They're dreams of her lying in a hospital bed in some grim facility, like a prison or a…military base. There's a blonde woman who taunts her and there are guards. She's weak and hurting and in pain. I hear her calling out to me. "Logan...Logan I need you. Logan help me. I don't know how long I can hang on." I'm not sure what to think. I held her in my arms as she died. I saw the wound. No one not even an X5 could survive that. Still, in some part of me there is a tiny spark of hope. Maybe somehow, someway she was saved. Maybe Manticore had more medical miracles up their sleeve than even Lydecker knew about. 

Tomorrow I think I'll start doing some looking around. I'm going to try to hack back into the Manticore surveillance system. I probably won't find anything but I have to try. I have to know for sure. I can live with Max dead but I can't live with thinking that she might still be alive, in the hands of those monsters calling for me to save her.

I'm no Zack, no man of action, no white knight on a thundering charger but if Max is alive somehow I will get her back if I die trying.


	2. I'll See you in my Dreams

"Logan…Logan wake up man

Disclaimer: Don't own them, don't profit from them,just like to play with them.

"Logan…Logan wake up man." I raise my head startled and groggily look around wondering who is shaking my shoulder in the middle of the night. Bright sunlight stings my eyes and I realize it is full day and Bling is standing there looking at me. My shoulders are stiff as I straighten up from my workstation. Last I remember I was working on a hack into the Manticore systems. I was close, so close but I must have fallen asleep waiting for the system to respond. I look at my screen but it is blank, just a blinking cursor winking mockingly in and out at me. Manticore has revamped their security since our attack and I am having the devil of a time breaking in. I may have to bring Sebastian in on this but I am trying to keep him out of the line of fire. 

"Logan, man, you been there all night again?" I realize Bling is talking to me. I know he is worried about me and my state of mind since… well, since. "Man, you ain't gonna accomplish nothing for your girl if you run yourself into the hospital. You need some food and some rest and a shower wouldn't hurt. "

"Bling, I don't have time. If she's alive and in there I have to get her out. She needs me."

"Man, I know how you feel but you ain't doin' no one any good this way. Get your skinny ass into the shower while I make you some food. Then we'll talk about plans." Bling is determined I can see. If I don't go along he is more than capable of dragging me into that shower himself and afterwards stuffing food down my throat. He doesn't understand that everything tastes like ashes to me now, that all I care about is finding Max.

I give in grudgingly knowing that the sooner I stop arguing with him the sooner I can get back to my search. As I head into the shower I smell the scent of frying bacon and coffee brewing and resign myself to forcing down the food when I come out.

I shower quickly and dress, pulling the exoskeleton on first. I am determined to use it as much as possible, to build up the muscles in my legs so that when the time comes to get Max I can participate fully. Bling nods approvingly as I enter the kitchen freshly showered and shaved.

"That's better, man. Now sit and eat with me and let's talk." I join him at the table and start to eat the enormous plate of bacon and eggs he's placed in front of me. 

"Tell me what's going on, man. When you first came back you told me Max was dead, that she was shot in the heart. Now all of a sudden you're on that computer night and day trying to find her. What's the deal?"

"You're probably going to think I'm crazy." I tell him. "It started a few days after I came back. I started having dreams at night, dreams about Max."

"It's only natural for you to dream of her," he says gently. "You loved her. A man doesn't get over that in a day or two." I briefly wonder what lost love he has had in his life to speak so knowingly of the feeling, then decide if he wants me to know, he'll tell me.

"Yeah, but these dreams were different, Bling. I mean I wasn't just dreaming of her, of the times we shared. " I pause then go on. "Did I ever tell you about the dream I had when I was unconscious in the hospital and Max was transfusing me?" He shakes his head no.

"I had on a tux and she was dressed in this incredible silvery white dress. She was the most beautiful… anyway, we danced. We waltzed to 'Valse Triste' by Sibelius. She asked me to never let go and I promised I wouldn't"

"Nice dream but…?" he doesn't understand yet.

"The thing is, I'm positive Max had the same dream. That we were together somehow, sharing the dream. When she came to see me I was humming the music and she gave me the strangest look and said to me 'that's the music' I know she meant from the dream even though she tried to pass it off as something else." Bling is silent for a moment then slowly says.

" My momma told me something once. About how sometimes, if you truly love someone and they love you back there's this connection; that you can almost read each other's minds sometimes. She said she had that with my daddy, that she couldn't explain what it was or how it was but that she knew it was there. She said it only happened once in a while but that it was real. She swore by it. And my momma was a very wise woman."

I nod slowly glad that Bling isn't about to have me locked up somewhere as a raving lunatic.

"The thing is Bling, these dreams I 've been having feel the same as the dream I had in the hospital. Like they're not really dreams, more like I'm somehow connected to Max. And if that's true then she's not dead, she's still alive."

"Then you should be happy man. All you have to do is find her."

"Yeah, but if she's alive, Manticore has her. And from what Lydecker said she's in even worse danger. At least with him in charge she was relatively safe. Reprogramming yes, but no mortal danger. But this bitch who's in charge now sounds like a psycho. Lydecker doesn't know her agenda and I'm worried about her plans for Max. She killed her sister in some sick experiment; what if she plans the same for Max? I have to find her and get her out." I start to rise from the table but Bling stops me with a hand on my arm.

"Okay, Logan, I believe you. There's always been something between you two even when you were both too stubborn to admit it. But you making yourself sick trying to do this alone won't help."

"But don't you understand?" I cry desperately. "She needs me. At night I hear her calling out to me, asking me to help her. I have to get to her, I promised her."

"You'll get to her. I have faith in you. But you gotta do it smart. And maybe there is something you can do for now to help her." Bling gives me a considering look. "If what you think is true and you do share some kind of link with her she should be able to get your feelings back too. Your being all desperate and frantic won't help her if those are the feeling's she's getting. You need to try to let her know that you've heard her and aren't giving up on her. You need to let her know you love her. Bet you never told her that, did you?"

He knows me too well. I nod. "So how do I do that, Bling?" I'm desperate enough for anything at this point.

"In your dreams, man. " He smiles at me. "Your link seems to be through dreams. I've heard you can control what you dream if you concentrate on it before you sleep. Maybe you need to give it a try."

Now **he** sounds crazy but what the hell. I have nothing to lose and maybe it will work. I have to try. I nod at him. Looking down I realize I've finished the plate of food. I feel better, stronger than I have in days. I feel hope. 

"Thanks, Man." I place my hand on his shoulder. He shrugs it off. "I didn't do nothing more that feed you and listen to you."

"You did way more, Bling. So what do you say to some pt? Maybe if I get physical for a while I'll have some new inspiration when I go back to my hacks." He rewards me with a smile and a nod and we get up to head for the workout room. 

"Logan, there's one more thing I gotta tell you man." I look at him waiting." Your girl is special to me too. When you find her you better plan on counting me in on getting her back." Our eyes meet and I reach out to take his hand. We shake and in that moment I fell that much less alone. I have Bling to watch my back and that's a good thing. 

It's night now, sometime after midnight and I reluctantly close down my system. I've made progress and I think I have found a way to get into the Manticore systems through a back door. I'm going to take a break and try in the morning because it is going to be tricky and I don't want to get caught. I need all my faculties on full alert when I try.

I may be crazy but I'm going to try Bling's idea about communicating with Max tonight. It's worth a try and I have nothing to lose. I walk into my bedroom and get myself ready for bed. Before I get in bed I reach over and start a CD playing. Sibelius, the music from our last shared dream fills the room. 

As I lay in my lonely bed I try to empty my mind of all thoughts except those of Max. I go back over every time we were together from that first time I saw her to the last. Soon I am floating in a sea of images of us together. I think of the good times ands the not so good times. Max mad at me over my obsession with saving the world, laughing with me about her friends at Jam Pony, sitting with me while she endured her seizures, walking with me on the beach, riding with me on her Ninja...

The music shifts into "Valse Trieste" and I find myself alone in a golden haze. I look around and I see a dim figure coming towards me. As it gets closer I see that it 's Max. She is dressed in her black catsuit and her face looks drawn and tired. She reaches her hand out to me but our fingers don't quite touch.

"Logan." she whispers. "Logan is it really you?"

I take a step towards her holding out my hand. "It's really me, Max. " I say. Our fingers touch and I clasp my hand around hers pulling her closer.

"Logan. Is this my dream or yours?" she asks echoing my words of that other time.

"It's ours, Max." I tell her pulling her into my arms. She feels so fragile resting there her head on my shoulder. "I'm here Max. I'll always be here for you."

"Promise?" she whispers.

"Promise." I answer her. "You have to hold on until I can find you and get you out. Don't give up on us, don't give up on you."

"It's hard, Logan. Zack is dead you know. They gave me his heart." Tears are falling down her cheeks. I am stunned by her words and don't know what to say other than,

"Max, I'm so sorry. "

"She says he killed himself for me. So I could live. I can't bear it, Logan."

"Max, he loved you he wouldn't want you to give up. If he really did kill himself for you that's all the more reason you have to hold on and fight them. "

"I'm trying, Logan." I hug her closer wanting to give her my strength and my love. We stand there for a few moments and she turns her face up to me. I reach down and gently kiss her. She clings to me for a moment and then the music starts to fade. As it does she pulls out of my arms. 

"I have to go now, Logan. Come back to me again." She is fading away as I watch.

"Every night, Max. In your dreams." 

TBC


	3. Dreams or Reality?

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AN: I promised a long time ago there would be some more to this piece. My muse has been stubborn but suddenly she woke up and decided it was time to finish this. So here it is – there will be one more chapter coming after this one, I just need to finish up the editing on it.

Either Bling is right about the connection between Max and me or I have completely and irretrievably lost my mind. For weeks now I have been meeting Max every night in my dreams. 

The first time or two was difficult. Faint and somewhat fuzzy and quickly over. But every night it becomes easier and easier. Seems like all I have to do is close my eyes and once I drift into sleep she is there waiting for me. I don't even need the prop of Sibelius playing any more. 

The very first time I held her and talked to her briefly trying to reassure her and then she was gone. But now, as soon as I fall asleep she is there. The details of the place we are meeting are fuzzy, it's as if we are enveloped in a soft gray fog, but she is strong and clear. I can see every detail of her beloved face, now so drawn and thin that I worry even more about her. Her hair is growing longer and as it does the weight of it is pulling out her natural waves so it falls in a straight waterfall around her face.

She tells me of what they are doing to her and how hard it is to resist. Sometimes, she once said, it would be so much easier to just give up being Max and go back to being 452. My chagrin must have shown in my face for she gently placed her hand on my cheek and reassured me that such thoughts are fleeting and whenever she gets them she thinks of me.

She tells me how she replays our moments together over and over in her head. Our first kiss through the window of my car, our dream dance, the first time I stood in front of her after the transfusion, and our last kisses. She tells me that the words I said to her that night "I know who you are" are her anchor point, her guiding star. That when she wants to give in she thinks of me and knows she has to stay Max so she can come back to me someday. She says she is going to hold me to my promise to her, that when she gets back she expects us to "have all the time in the world". 

In turn I tell her of my days. Of how I am fighting every day to break into Manticore's database so I can find out where they are holding her and figure out a way to get her out.

I tell her about Bling and how it was his idea for me to try to reach her through my dreams. She warns me to be careful; not to get myself killed over her. She says she has some plans of her own for getting out. I beg her to be careful as well. 

She tells me that she is back to training. She is now being allowed out to mingle with the other X series, the ones who didn't escape, who don't know any life outside the walls of Manticore. They aren't especially friendly she says, regarding her as a traitor, as unclean somehow because of her years living outside. She doesn't care. She uses the training sessions to build her strength for the day she will escape and come home to me. Home …to me. Those words shook me and I guessed it showed. 

Until last night we sat and talked and held hands but nothing more. These are only dreams after all. But when she said that to me I was shaken by her words and by all they implied. Max must have seen it in my eyes because she moved closer to me and put her arms around me hugging me close. My arms went up around her and for long moments we just stood there (in my dreams I can stand and walk as if I had never been shot). Then ever so slowly she raised her head from where it was resting on my chest and our eyes met. Still in slow motion I leaned down and kissed her. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and mine around her back holding her too thin frame close to me. It seemed to go on forever, her lips moving on mine, her mouth opening so our tongues could meet and dance together. Finally she pulled away and I could feel her trembling, or maybe it was mine; I don't know. I started to say something but she began to fade as she does every night when dawn grows near. Then she was gone leaving me with her sweet taste on my lips.

Today I am watching the clock, counting the minutes, moving by rote through my self appointed tasks, wanting night to come once more. I realize that it is close to 3 months that she has been gone.

My doorbell rings and I come back to earth with a start. Looking at the calendar I realize that today is the day I planned to go to the VA with the S1W to try to get some records that I think may lead me to Manticore. That must be Asha here to get me for the operation. The S1W is a group of idealistic kids out to save the world. A lot like I used to be until a blown out spinal column and a genetically engineered superwoman came along. The spinal column made me cynical and angry but the loss of Max took away my enthusiasm for anything but revenge. How do you save the world when you can't even save the woman you love? 

I have my dreams but I'm still afraid to put too much stock in them. They may just be the delusional fantasies of a broken man. In any event my desire for revenge burns as strongly as ever. If Max is dead as my rational mind tells me she is, then Manticore is going to die as well. If she isn't then taking them down allows for the possibility of freeing her from their hell.

Several hours later I return home, mission accomplished. Asha has followed me up to my apartment and I am too wrapped up in what I am doing to really care. She has hinted recently about having an interest in being more than just working associates. She doesn't understand that I have nothing left to give to her or to any woman. I gave it all to Max. If she is still alive she owns my heart and soul and everything that makes me Me. If she's dead then all of that died with her. But how to tell Asha so that she will understand? 

Asha surprises me though. She starts talking about the Eyes Only broadcast (I've never told her I'm Eyes Only). and then oh so gently begins to probe. She asks if I knew one of them and when I admit I did she asks if they killed her. When I say that I watched her die she falls silent, alerted perhaps by the tone of my voice, to my feelings. Shortly after she leaves and I am relieved that she let it drop. I don't want to talk about Max with her.

It is night again and I can't wait to go to bed and fall asleep. I realize how dependent I have become on these meetings with Max. I have a feeling that soon it will all be over. A climax is coming; I can sense it. Then I will know for sure. I will either end up (a) dead, (b) alive and happily insane living my days out dreaming of my lost love or (c) the happiest man alive with Max restored to me. The best chance is for (a) or (b) but perhaps there really are miracles and (c) will turn out to be true. 

As soon as my head hits the pillow I fall into a deep sleep. For a while my dreams are vague and threatening, dark shadows playing across my mind. Then there is a change. For the first time since we started this the mist clears and I see that I am sitting in my own bedroom. There are candles lit all around the room and soft music is playing. I am sitting on the edge of my bed facing Max. 

"What is this?" I ask her.

"I want to share my most special dream with you tonight Logan. I need to."

Her voice is soft and she seems a little shaken.

"What happened today?" I ask her concerned that they have come up with some new torture to use on her.

"Nothing really. They just, I just, oh damn it. They sent me a breeding partner." 

I hesitate taking in her words. "A breeding partner?"

"Yes damn it. Since we destroyed the lab they decided to make new soldiers the old fashioned way."

"Max are you alright? He didn't hurt you did he?" She laughs shortly.

"I hurt him more than he hurt me. He didn't touch me; I made it clear I wasn't having any part of it. It's not that, Logan. It's just that he's Ben's twin. That goddamn bitch sent Ben's twin to be my breeding partner." I hear the hurt and anger in her words and I want to kill the bitch as much as she does. Of all the cruel tortures to send Max the twin of the brother she killed as her breeding partner has to be the worst yet. 

"I need you tonight Logan. More than ever. I never told you but when I was dying I had a dream. I dreamt that the mission was successful and that everyone was okay. We were all at Crash together, you, me, Zack, Syl, Krit even Lydecker. Afterwards you and I came back here and you made love to me. Make love to me now. I need you to."

I reach out and gathering her hair in my hands I pull it back away from her face and then lower my lips to hers. We kiss and then reaching down I pull up her sweater, her hands helping me. We break for a moment and the sweater goes flying leaving her in only a thin camisole and jeans. As we kiss once more her hands are at my waist helping me remove my shirt. Soon our clothes are gone and we are lying together in the soft glow of the candles. My lips and hands are learning her body, worshipping it, as she does the same for me. Finally it is time and I slowly sink into her savoring this coming together, dream though it is. I move slowly letting the feelings wash over me and watching Max, lying back on my pillow, eyes closed, hair spread out around her. At that moment she looks more beautiful than I have ever seen her. She opens her eyes and our eyes meet as together we fly, reaching heights I've only vaguely imagined were possible. 

Afterwards we lie there together, her head resting on my chest, my arm wrapped around her holding her close to me. 

"Thank you Logan." she whispers

"Don't thank me Max. Love me. " In our dream I can say things I can't say to her in life. 

It appears she is the same.

"I do." 

"I do too." We lie there a few more minutes content and then she sighs. 

"I know. It's time." She nods.

"Dawn is coming. Logan, something is going to happen soon. I can feel it. Be careful."

"What Max? What should I be careful of?"

"I don't know. Maybe of me." With those words she is gone and I come awake with a start to the ringing of my phone. By the time I find it next to my bed it has stopped. I see that there is a message but decide it can wait until I shower. I have the same feeling as Max. Something is going to go down very soon and I need to be prepared. 

Finishing up I check the message. Feeling confirmed. It is from Donald Lydecker and he wants to set a meeting regarding Manticore. He says he has information for me and I should call him back. I try with no success so head on out to make some breakfast. If I'm going to meet with Deck today I need to be fully prepared. No telling what side he is on these days.


	4. Waking Up

A/N: This is the end of In My Dreams. I've taken it up to the beginning of S1, going by the DT canon for the return and reunion even though I wasn't happy about how it was done on the show and I do truly hate the virus. .I also didn't like their ending conversation but I have tried to make it make some sense. I don't think I was too successful because face it, it really didn't make much sense. Oh well. Enjoy. 

Yesterday I said there were three possible endings to my campaign against Manticore. I was wrong. There was a fourth possibility and that's the one that came to pass. Option (d) Max alive and restored to me but farther away from me than ever.

Today has been a crazy kaleidoscope of events shifting from hope to ecstasy to despair back to hope. I came close to dying today, not once but twice. Manticore is gone. Max is back. My life is a shambles. That pretty much sums it all up.

After breakfast I finally connected with Lydecker and we setup a meeting. Setup is the right word. It started with my arriving and being greeted by Deck and a Manticore special ops team. It ended with Deck killing the team and supplying me with the current location of Manticore. In the process I was shot. Given the subsequent events I have to wonder if the shooting was intentional on Deck's part. The man has layers on layers and one never knows exactly whose side he actually is on. Correction, I know whose side he is on – his own. Whatever that may be. In any event he's gone again. 

Finished the meeting I headed back to my place and spent the next several hours putting together the cable hack that would finally expose Manticore complete with location for news crews to visit and confirm what I was saying. I don't think I've worked as hard on another hack in my life. This one was my final revenge on the ones who took Max away from me. I figured it was probably also my death warrant. Nothing is more dangerous than a dying beast and that was going to be Manticore after my broadcast. I didn't fool myself; I knew that one of their last acts would be to send an assassin after Eyes Only. 

What I didn't expect was who that assassin would be or that they were already on the way.

I stopped briefly for some food and then put the finishing touches on my hack. Of course the satellite feed had to pick tonight to get funky. I gave up for a while and refined the hack a bit then decided to try one last time to upload. If the last upload still wouldn't work I was going to let it go until the morning. I punched in the commands and was sitting back waiting when I became aware of another presence in the room. A familiar presence. For a moment I hesitated then I slowly turned in my chair. I never understood when people used the phrase "time seemed to stop". Tonight it stopped for me. As I completed my turn, for one brief moment I believed that I was actually sleeping and this was some new dream. But my dreams never quite had the reality I experienced just then. I always knew they were dreams.

Max was standing across the room staring at me. She looked just as I had seen her in my dreams, thin, long straight hair, dressed in camo pants and gray T-shirt. But it was her face that almost broke my heart. She looked so hesitant, unsure, as if she was afraid I wouldn't want her to be there. 

"Max." It was a whisper, a prayer, a declaration all in one word because it was all I could get out. I don't remember getting there but I was standing in front of her holding her face in my hands.

"We gotta get you out of here. They're coming to get you." I heard her words but I couldn't take them in. I started to pull her face to me but stopped for a second drinking her in with my eyes. Then I pulled her close and our lips met. Everything was just as I remembered it from that last time we kissed. I wanted it never to stop. I wanted to lose myself in her and finish what we began so long ago. For a moment Max returned the kiss but then she stopped and pulled away.

"We gotta go. They're coming to get you." She sounded almost panicked.

My hands were on her shoulders; I couldn't let go of her to save my life. Hers were moving over me, touching my shoulders, my chest, as if to reassure herself that I was alive and standing next to her. I tried to make sense of what is happening but I must have been in a state of shock. Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion and to someone else.

"Who? What's going on? How did you—"

"I'll explain later. Come on." She was pulling at me trying to get me to come with her. 

I grasped for something to anchor me to reality. The cable hack. I needed to finish the upload and send off the hack. 

"No, I have to finish my broadcast." 

Max was getting frustrated with me. "Forget it. It's not important." My fogged mind finally registered her urgency and I gave in and started to go with her. That's when it happened. I felt a wave of dizziness and my legs gave out under me. 

"Logan, what's happening?" I found myself lying on the floor in Max's arms and she was frantic. I couldn't answer her because the dizziness was increasing, washing over me in waves. Then another voice interjected.

"You killed him. Good job 452. Mission accomplished." The voice went on to say something about Manticore infecting her with a virus targeted to my DNA. If she touches me it infects me and I die. Max hearing that jumps away from me. Ironic that I was right about the assassin. Even more ironic that Manticore chose the perfect person. The one person I would never suspect, who would easily be able to get to me. I am dying but there is one consolation Manticore I'm sure didn't plan. I held Max again for one brief moment and I will die knowing that she is free and alive. I tried to tell her to send the hack, it's even more important now that Manticore be exposed so that they can't come after her again but I couldn't speak. The rest is a blur.

I vaguely remember Max fighting with someone – another X5? Then being in my chair holding a gun on that same person? The next thing that is clear to me is waking up on my couch with Asha hovering over me. My first thought is that it was a dream after all. Max is dead; she died three months ago in my arms. 

But Asha turns to someone else and says, "He's going to be all right. Welcome back" 

I look over and Max is standing by the windows. Asha walks out of the room leaving us alone and I put on my glasses and say to Max,

"You don't have to stand all the way over there. Come closer"

She refuses. "Better not risk it. We don't know how easy it is for me to reinfect you, and...that was the last of the antigen." I can't stand the sadness in her voice, the despair.

"We're gonna find a way to beat this." I truly believe that. After all I have just been given a far greater gift. Max is alive and here with me. Where there's life there's hope. What's a little matter of a killer virus compared to coming back from the dead? Max doesn't see it that way I but I am still too tired from my bout with death to put together any coherent words.

"Yeah. But you should concentrate on getting better." She pauses " I gotta go." 

I try to think of something to say to her but her walls are up again. Finally I come out with "You know, things are different now. Back when you first got out, it was just the twelve of you. Now there's a lot more. " I want to kick myself for being so lame but the words are out. 

"If they're smart, they'll lay low." Max tries to be flippant but it only comes across as sad.

"You don't want it getting around that you and yours are out in the world. People tend to get scared of things that are different. Keep your head down." Why in hell are we sitting here talking about escaped Manticore creations? We should be talking about us. There is so much I want to say to her but it is too late. 

"I always do" That's it. She's gone. 

So here I am shell shocked and reeling. Maybe I should be despairing but I'm not. No matter what, the miracle has occurred. Max is alive and she's free. I kicked myself for months for not making a move to let her know how I felt about her sooner. I told myself if I could do it over I would do it differently. Now I have my chance. Whatever I have to do I'm going to do it. Max may be afraid but I'm not. I've already been to hell. Without her my life wasn't worth living. We may not be able to touch right now but just the fact that she's alive and well is enough for me. I'm going to have to have patience and hope for both of us but I'm determined. 

My exhausted body has had it. I feel my eyes closing as I drift off into sleep. Asha is back hovering over me and covering me with a blanket but I don't care. Max is alive and tomorrow I'll start my new quest. Someday we will be together. I believe and now I just need to convince Max. As I drift away I remember what my mother used to say.

__

The universe is right on schedule.


End file.
